Sex is one of my favorite things in the world. I absolutely need it in order for my life to feel complete. I need hands wrapped around my throat as some hot guys takes me at a relentless, and sweaty, pace.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, let’s just say it has to do with the fact that, as humans, we all have passions. Desires. Needs. Ignoring these needs only leads to a type of restlessness, missed opportunity, and discontentment. But we have to tread carefully. If you become wholly obsessed with a single passion, it will lead to ruin. Those consumed with the undying urge to gain more power become tyrants. Those obsessed with getting revenge become the thing they hate in the first place. And those who are obsessed with satisfying their every need, even at the sake of others, become no good scoundrels and villains.
What we have to find is balance. We have to balance our needs and desires with what is reasonable. It’s the only way to stay sane.
I only bring this subject up because today three of my men got rowdy with some of the female survivors. A couple of nice looking girls, probably no more than eighteen or nineteen, were waiting in line for their rations. The trio of men followed them outside with the pretense of offering them some added protection as they left the perimeter of the safety zone. Instead, my men ushered the two young women into a nearby alleyway where they proceeded to get rough with them.
I followed them without bringing detection to myself, and waited to see what they’d do. Soon enough, the two girls became frightened and tried to leave, but when that didn’t work they tried to shove their way out. However, this only seemed to amuse the men, who looked forward to a little challenge before the real fun began, and they toyed with the women some more before tearing all their clothes off.
Now I can’t abide sexual assault, but perhaps more than this I can’t abide when people under my employ decide they’re above the rules. Disobedience I simply do not tolerate. If you want to act like a bunch of Neanderthals, there’s a whole uncivilized world outside these borders that would be glad to have you. But in my city, in my syndicate, my word is law. And of my rules, one of the most unwavering is the command: Though shall not rape.
As the girls trembled the men snickered and jeered in lingering anticipation of the copious “fun” they were about to inflict, that’s when, from the shadows, I lit up my cigarette.
You should have seen the look on their faces when they all realized exactly who it was crouched down in the dark corner underneath the fire escape. Looking right at them, my face illuminated by the soft orange glow of my lighter’s flame, I shot them a cold gaze. You would have been impressed at how my men responded. All of them got down on their hands and knees, and bowed, touching head to ground in shame, as they pleaded for forgiveness. But like I said, my word is law, and the punishment for breaking it is severe.
As I wiped off my blade, the women gathered their belongings, spat on the men’s headless corpses, thanked me and then left.
I wanted you to know this because I wanted you to know that this is the form of obedience and loyalty I demand of my people. If I have to explain to you why you have insulted and dishonored me, then you’ve forfeited your position in my empire, and your worthless ass will be exiled. If you’ve carried out an egregious crime against my decree, then you’ve forfeited your safety and you’re as good as dead to me.
Now that your attention is all mine, what do you suppose I’d do if anyone ever betrayed me?
You see, over the past couple of months now, Takahiro’s clan of rebels have been relentless in their opposition to me. Their sheer anticipation of my every move has been unbelievable, to say the least. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t go a week without seeing his ugly mug and wishing that’s I’d taken him out when I’d had the chance.
Now imagine my disappointment when, after doing a bit of digging, I found out that I had a double agent in my network, and more than this, it was the guy I’d been crushing on for weeks.
His name is Ren Kitayama. Of course, he’s new to my clan, but he’d checked out fine and had contacts within my organization that vouched for him. He has one of those hardened faces where you can never be sure quite what he’s thinking, which drives me insane. He has dark brown eyes, a bit of stubble on his chin, is tall, and just the right kind of skinny. Tone, with a nice ripple of abs, but not overly hard edged. And considering that I haven’t been laid since I let that two-face snake Takahiro share my bed with me, I’ve really been hoping that Ren would make himself available to me in some way.
That was the fantasy however. But instead of getting a hot night with a hot guy, all I got was disappointment. Ren turned out to be the mole leaking information to the Banjin. In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s taking orders directly from that snake, Takahiro, himself.
Maybe I am just another stupid girl falling pathetically for another stereotypical bad boy, and maybe it really is that simple. Maybe Ren Kitayama is just the next in a long line of such bad boys I’ll likely fall head over heels for.
I don’t know. There’s just something about him that intrigues me and gets me hot all at the same time. I’ve sent him on more dangerous missions than anyone, and he’s survived every single one of them. He’s a true warrior’s warrior, like an ancient gladiator from Rome, he deserves the respect of all those who are lucky enough to be in his presence. I know it’s a stupid thing to fantasize about, but he’d make such a great companion to me—you know—if he wasn’t such a back stabbing knave and total lowlife.
In one instant I dream of him inside of me and the next I dream of drinking his blood spilling from his lips, as I stand there still hold the crimson stained knife that slit his throat tightly in my hand.
You really have no idea how much these dark twisted fantasies make me nervous. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not nervous because I am worried that it might come down to us facing off in a duel to the death, because I could easily take him. I’m nervous because I think I might be falling for him; and I totally know I shouldn’t be.
If I fall for him, then I won’t be able to do what is necessary. And I won’t be worthy of retaining the crown as Princess Gangster. Ren has been bad. He needs to be punished.
So now I’m conflicted. I don’t know whether I should fuck his brains out and then suffocate the traitor between my thighs, or whether I should snatch him out from his bed in the middle of the night, skin him alive, and hang him by his toenails from Tokyo Tower. Make an example of him. I’m sure the zombies would love a live piñata to slash at until the spoils of Ren’s guts spilled out onto the ground for all to enjoy.
Honestly, I’m leaning toward the suffocate him with my thighs way, because a girl still has to be allowed her passions. Even if it is the bloody end of the world.
I guess you’ll just have to wait till next week to find out all the gory details, and which way I take this. Until then, tend to your passions. Consider it an order. After all, you only live once.
***October 2, 2019 (Z.E.)